The First Time

It is really funny (well not really), during the past week two different people have made the comment to me, "IVF hardly works for anyone the first time." Although I know the message behind that statement was to make me feel better, or to give our first failure some sort of validation, it made me feel worse. It is not what anyone wants to hear after failing after this. I cannot fault people for comments they make to try to make me feel better but I just wish they could have some insight on what to say and not to say.

I was irritated Monday afternoon because I had to call our clinic to schedule our follow-up. Well of course the doctor was booked this week at the office near us so they asked if I would go to the suburban office to see him possibly next week. Of course, so they transfer me to his nurse there who ultimately transfers me back to the city nurse to schedule it and I get disconnected. So I finally get a hold of the city nurse, and I basically was like, figure it out with the other nurse and let me know when I can see him in the next three weeks, stop transferring me back and forth. People it is not that hard, I know he is busy but figure it out. One thing I learned through all this, the squeakest wheel gets the most attention and nothing gets done sometimes unless you get speak up and or get pissed off.  I am going to be very vocal about many things next time around. So our follow up is Sept. 26th. No time yet, they will let us know the Saturday before. But again, so annoying...

We have been thinking we may go with another doctor next time anyway. We want to hear what the doctor has to say at our follow-up and we have a laundry list of questions, and see what he would do different next time. After that I plan on calling my gyne and asking him who else he recommends besides this guy and do a few more consultations with our information from this round and make a decision.  I like the doctor but some of his staff members are disappointing. I for sure 100% do not want the embryologist we had. He was a poor communicator and now I know better that next time around I am going to call every single day for a status.  I felt rushed out of there after the transfer and that is not going to happen again. Some nurses are good, others act like you are burdening them. I just want to have an entire different experience next time around whether the result is positive or negative.

I also go back and forth on when we should do another round, I really want to wait until January but then I kind of feel I should be doing it again as soon as possible like I am wasting time. But in my mind, I think I need time to refocus, prepare and investigate some things.  I am afraid to rush into it again.

In the meantime, I am going to start running again. I have some 5Ks and what not I am going to sign up for. I also plan on taking kickboxing. I think I need to let out some anger. I was suppose to go for a trial class today but a wine filled birthday dinner last night (next to a table of wine reps also giving us free wine) derailed that.

Have a great weekend.