And so it begins, again

Sorry for the radio silence. Bad blogger in me. I had time in Denmark too. I think I was just taking a break away and building up for IVF #2. I'll be taking this week to catch up what is going on with all of you. Especially all of you who are having babies in 2012! Just think by next new year, so many of our lives will be changed. Anyway here is what has been happening with me.

Right after my birthday I had my first appointment with a new therapist. My gyne recommended her and she specializes in infertility. I think it took maybe three minutes of meeting her before I was crying but when I left I felt like the huge weight of everything that was sitting on my chest and in my mind had been lifted. Just in time for Christmas. I was not feeling as emotional after it. I think the one thing she told me that stuck with me is, it is ok to be sad about this. It is a big deal. It is a lot to go through and you do not necessarily have to act so strong about it. I think if I show my true feelings about it sometimes I feel so weak. Well I am letting that go. It is ok to think it is hard, unfair and it is ok to be sad. We'll be meeting on Tuesdays so I get to see her again tomorrow.

I got my Christmas spirit after that. Finished all my shopping and wrapping for Denmark. Had a few Christmas parties with friends. Then we left for Denmark on the 20th. The trip was so much fun. I cannot even tell you how much I love my in-laws. They are so loving and thoughtful and completely spoil us while we are there. We spent a night with Jacob's best friend too who lives in a different city from his parents. Just drinks and dinner with him and his girlfriend. And Christmas was perfect. They celebrate Christmas Eve in Denmark, so it was a day of church, lighting candles on the Christmas tree and singing around it and a visit from Juleman (aka Santa Claus). It was so fun to see my nieces and nephew so excited about him and their presents. It makes me look forward to it with our own kids. The meal was excellent too and I might have gotten a little too tipsy on the Christmas wine...The next few days were pretty laid back and when we left J's parents to go home, I was really sad. I just hate that we cannot see them more than we do. And it makes me sad for J.

On our last night,  J and I had dinner in Tivoli in Copenhagen. It is one of my favorite places to go to. There is just something magical about it. It is filled with lights and we were there during the fireworks. We are big foodies so we usually do an expensive over the top dinner for our birthdays. We waited until our trip to do it and this dinner was outstanding. Many delicious courses and wonderful wine pairings. And a great end to our trip. There was a table of 5 next to us; a bride and groom who just got married and their parents. She was pregnant so no booze for her but it was nice to see them celebrate.

We just got back right before New Years Eve. I had a cold and was not feeling well at all so we laid low. I had brunch with my girlfriends NYE morning but that night J and I just made a few appetizers, played a few games and hung out. I think we were in bed by 12:30. We are not big NYE people. We decided in the coming years, it will be best to celebrate NYE on vacation somewhere. We like to go out New Years day to watch the bowl games but I still was not feeling well and only the pro games were on anyway.

So today is the 2nd. So back to reality, back to life tomorrow (apparently J is off today too, so we are going to do something fun). Right now as I type, I am on hold with the clinic to schedule my baseline and bloodwork for today or tomorrow. I got AF on Friday (on the plane, isn't that lovely? Flying for 7 hours with cramps) so today is the first day I can get a hold of them. They are BUS-Y. I have been on hold for 45 minutes already and there are still two calls ahead of me. So this week, back on BCP. This month will be a month of detox. Low alcohol, caffeine. I plan on working out still because I know once day 5 of the shots hit, I won't be able to. So February, the month of love, is when our next cycle will be.

So many things I want to do and have happen this year, 1) get pregnant and have a baby, 2)  find a new job, PT or FT but something I enjoy, 3) move meaning sell the condo and buy a house (and a brief side note to say I LOVE PINTEREST). Those don't seem so big or unattainable right? These are normal goals for most people.

I spoke of my good friend (also an IFer) back in this post whose pregnancy I was so happy about. She was actually pregnant with twins. A few days before Christmas at 24 weeks, she went into labor and had an emergency c-section and gave birth to two beautiful twin boys. Both in the NICU now but tough as nails. Man these kids are fighters. Already they have been through so much. Please include them in your prayers.

Hope the holiday season was good to you all.  Happy New Year!  I hope this year, is the year dreams come true. For everyone.