Workout Update

I finally got into a good workout routine. I needed to change it up a bit. I am kind of over running. It just takes so long to really be good at it building endurance and stamina and if you fall off the wagon, its like starting over. So I bit the bullet and joined a gym which would seem like a waste of money because we have a workout room in our building. But I am more motivated when I have somewhere to go. Plus with not working it has been a great habit to get into. I ended up joining the Y. There is a nice one buy us, cheaper than most gyms and it is only month to month, which totally is great for when we do our next cycle, I can quit and then go back when I can workout again.  I have been taking spin classes but  I really need to start going on the weekend too. I know I would be losing weight if I could just sew my lips shut. I have lost a few pounds but nothing to write home about. Ugh.

J had another workout with "The Babymaker" aka our embryologist. Apparently he was wearing a Manny Pacquiao shirt (famous boxer) so J started a conversation with him about the Philippines. The embryologist is Filipino and J told him I was too and that we went there on our honeymoon. So they were sharing stories about some of the places we and he had been.  Glad they have a continued dialogue going.

So I need to keep it up in the workout arena. I've been feeling great at least. Those endorphins, always a good pick me up.

I'm not ready at least not for

Youth Sports. J and I were are my nephew's football game this weekend. Poor team, didn't win a game all season. And I was saying, "If my kid played like that, I would tell him this." I had tons of opinions. I found myself being frustrated with some of the kids and parents. I told Dane that maybe the reason we are not parents yet is because I am not mature enough for youth sports. God thinks I need a few more years to mature be able to deal with all the politics and drama of it all. Seriously. So good thing if I have a baby soon, there will be at least a few years until we enter the youth sports arena.

Maybe Later

I have not been posting as much as I usually do, guess with not too much to say. I have been keeping up with everyone else's blogs however. It is funny, the more you read someone's blog the more you feel you know them. without even meeting them.

Another friend of mine told me she is pregnant today. We used to work together and we were pretty tight. We are the same age, started the same year and always shared our boy stories and irritating work issues. Her and her husband just got married this past April (we share the same anniversary, mine is just a year earlier) and they are in the process of buying a house and now having a baby. I am truly happy for her and excited!

And I thought it would make me feel sad, or resentful but not at all. So maybe later. If this journey o mine gets longer and more treacherous. But for now I am happy for everyone getting pregnant. Many of my close friends are pregnant or will be trying for the first time or second time again soon. Many of you bloggers out there are currently pregnant. And I am sure some of you are all rolling your eyes right now thinking, "We'll see how long she feels that way." And that may be true but not today.

Boring...

Just feeling kind of eh. I get in a funk every now and again because I feel I just don't know what I am doing. I know we are going to do another round of IVF early next year, the holidays are coming up and we'll be traveling but I just think I need to be doing something else. I do enjoy the freedom and flexibility of making my day what I want it to be but I am not really feeling a purpose right now. One of my friends told me this weekend, "Stop feeling guilty. Just enjoy this time. It won't be like this forever." She's right, I wish I was not feeling guilty but at times I do.

I found out on FB yesterday too that the girl from high school I mentioned in this post is pregnant. When I was at the clinic for my baseline, she had to be going for her beta to have announced it yesterday. So another successful IVF pregnancy. Kind of got me down but I'm fine.

I decided to start looking into finding an acupuncture place because I plan on doing it starting now through our next cycle. I called one today and am waiting to hear back when I can go check it out. Good 'ol AF arrived yesterday and I actually totally forgot it was time to have it, but it did light a fire under me. I am going to email one of my RE's nurses this week to get the ball rolling for the next round.  I am sure I have to call the insurance company again and go through all the approvals again, etc. I figure I can get it all out of the way now before the holiday madness so we are ready to roll in Jan.

I had lunch today with my dad and he brought me some things my mom and my sister had gotten at the Catholic store. A St. Gerard (patron saint, Expectant Mothers) necklace, statue and prayer card. I was happy to get them because I was going to get one anyway. Sweet gesture.

Oprah has a new show on her network called Lifeclass. The first episode was yesterday and it talked about our egos and finding a way to step away from them in order to find our true selfs and happiness. It was interesting.

I am so boring this week, just dealing with random things. J is out of town for a week which is no fun. I miss having him around. I'm going to make us a nice welcome home dinner Fri. night.

Seems all my preggo blogger friends are all doing well and I am glad to hear it! I really do enjoy reading everyone's progress, so keep it up!!

Workout Buddy

J has taken up Cross-Fit the new fitness craze as his workout drug of choice. Yesterday he came home and was like you are never going to guess who was in my Cross-Fit session today. I guess they all go by nicknames (J's is The Dane) They have a board where they keep track of their progress but they do it by nicknames. He is working out and looks at this guy and thinks to himself, I think I know him. He looks on the board at the guy's nickname which is "Babymaker" and he figures out it was our embryologist. J talked to him and asked him if he worked at our RE's office, yes and J proceeded to tell him you were our embryologist, it didn't work, this was what we transferred blah, blah. And I guess the guy was really nice...told J I usually remember names not faces, (figures, scientist) but you should absolutely try again, sometimes the body does not know what to do, and I think it can for sure work for you guys based on the ratings etc. So completely promising, which I already knew from our RE but I really did not want him to be our embryologist again. But then I thought maybe J can get in good with this guy so that he can have a vested interest in us. Then we may want him to be our embryologist again. And maybe with a vested interest, he'll be better at communicating and play some special attention to our case as opposed to treating it like any other day at work. We'll see how it pans out but just totally random. We live in a major city, but this guy works at the suburban IVF clinic where the lab is and this workout session was smack dab in the middle of the day. Maybe coincidence, but maybe not.

Psychic Readings

I needed another post today on a different subject. I had purchased a mid Century dresser and nightstand (one on Craigslist, one at an antique store) and had them refurbished. We had them delivered a few weeks ago but they had been sitting in our living room and we finally had time this weekend to move them on in. So I was cleaning my old nightstand and I found this journal that contained notes from all of my past psychic meetings. During my twenties, my friends and I would go see this coffee bean reader. She was Greek so you would go to her house and she would make Greek coffee, you would drink it and the remains of the coffee would dry onto the interior of the cup and she would read it. We did for fun but of course, who doesn't want to maybe know their future? In reviewing the notes over like 4 years (one reading a year) a few things showed up about kids. In one reading I have a note that says, "Mishaps prone with pregnancy...questions marks in the pregnancy line." In a later reading I had asked about kids (the pattern was in most of these I asked about marriage, kids and jobs) and she saw me having only one child, prominent near my pregnancy line, a little girl.  And then in my very last reading from 2005 (which I know was a totally different lady who read tarot cards) there is a note I would have a child at least a year after marriage (check), as late as age 35 (check) and only showing one. By no means do I believe 100% in this stuff, always more for fun, but it was interesting to see some parallels.

Innocent comment

I was just talking over text with a friend of mine who recently got married. We used to work together and she is a good friend. I met my husband on match; she met hers about 6 months later on eHarmony. We both had long engagements and she just got married a few weeks ago (week before the fun city wedding and day of beauty). Last time we had dinner she told me they wanted to have kids right away so she was going to go off BC right after the wedding. So today we were texting and she asked how everything was going. I told her it didn't work (we had found out right before her wedding) and that we were going to try again in early 2012. She commented that maybe in the meantime we would get pregnant naturally. I told no, it really cannot work that way for us, gave her a quick synopsis of the sperm situation, J's surgery and how the sperm are frozen away at our IVF lab and that IVF is the only option. And then I made a joke about me never having to worry about birth control again.

It was nice of her to be hopeful that another option may work for us, but I did explain IVF is hard to understand unless you are going through it due to the many factors. Everyone's situation is soooo different, it blows my mind. It's funny that the fertiles or potential fertiles are kind of naive and uninformed to all of it. And God Bless them. I wish none of this on anyone. I just wish it was easier to explain.