My First Thought Vomit Thursday. Here goes:
- I weighed myself on yesterday since going to the gyne a week ago and the good news is I was down 4 lbs. Which is great. I have been good about writing what I am eating down and still working out. I think maybe 2 lbs of that was bloating pre period weight anyway last week but I will take what I can get. Soo hooray and still motivated.
- I have been reading many posts about the lack of Christmas cheer in many of us and I am right there with you. It is more of an up and down for me. I am sad we have no baby. But then I think I have a great life with so many good things I should just be thankful for that. Just feeling defeated this year, no real accomplishments to make note of and ready for just a fresh start in a new year. And so damn emotional. I am teary eyed listening to Christmas carols. I don't know what my problem is with the tears. I do however have no problem belting out Last Christmas by WHAM (best version ever) of course.
- We'll be in Denmark this year for Christmas which I do love, because it is like that picture perfect Christmas postcard. A small band of Santa's playing music in the square, a little market in the mornings selling different beers, cheese truck and Christmas decorations. Small shops, drinking glogg. I am hoping to find my cheer there. We did get ourselves to put up a mini tree, some lights inside our condo and a wreath so it is kind of around us but even shopping, I am more annoyed than cheery. I am happy to say however I will be finished shopping tomorrow. We are doing breakfast with Santa with my family on Saturday to give our nephews their gifts.
- And it's my birthday weekend. The big 36 on Sunday. And I am going to make it a happy day. My husband and I are going to have a pretty low key day (his birthday is actually Monday). Maybe a little pizza (my fav food), maybe a trip downtown to see the Christmas lights, hit the German market, hmmmm.
- I got my hair highlighted yesterday and I look like pop star. HATE IT. Needless to say it is getting fixed at 11 today.
- Also yesterday I went all the way to the gym, got pissed there was no parking and went home. No parking at the gym or near the gym for three blocks! I drove around for 10 minutes then said screw it, I was going to miss my class. There is just too much going on there at the time I go to spin, tons of kid classes so there are moms and kids and strollers everywhere and if I do not leave early enough, the annoyance of lack of parking due to all the mini-vans makes me insane. I love the irony of how I wish I was one of those moms in my way.
- I just wish I could stop feeling guilty for having the blues. There are tons of people in this world who have nothing and have so many things to be thankful for. It's just a roller coaster this month.
- Thanks for listening to me rant out there.
Laughing my ass off because you went home from the gym. I've done that before too....not at the gym but other places. So funny!
ReplyDeleteDenmark?? This is def on my places to go; My papa was from there :)
ReplyDeleteI know the struggle you are feeling with guilt about being sad/blue when others have thing worse off, but people remind me that it doesn't take away or lessen our pain of what we don't have. It's not like we are this upset about not having the new kate spade bag...its a baby, a child!
Feeling guilty about being upset was/is a big one for me. My guardian angel friend told me something that I say over in my mind every day. It is basically the same thing amiracle said.
ReplyDeleteI used to think, "I have so many blessings in my life -- am I being ungrateful or selfish or greedy in feeling so badly, feeling it's not fair if I can't have a child?" But I realize now, from the perspective of so many years having gone by, that it's not a "fair" way to judge a reaction. No matter what anyone is going through, there is always someone having it worse, so that is not a good or valid comparison of reactions. Any reaction, any emotion, you may have because of this is valid -- it is what you are going through NOW.
Last Christmas by WHAM is awesome and Happy early Birthday!