Stopping the "What If" theory

Tuesday night I went out to eat with two of my lovely friends. The place we went to was great, good martinis and Italian tapas. I regretted the splurging a bit at spin this morning. Anyway, one of my friends met a guy about 2 months ago. He lives in a different state and we were debating on whether or not she should invite him to our Friends Thanksgiving in Dec. So she had some reservations (all for good reasons) but I told her, "If someone ever ask me for one bit of dating advice, I would say "Stop living in the What If" and just do it. Take a chance." I dated for a very long time before meeting my husband. A few serious relationships in my twenties but spent three years in my thirties, on and off on Match.com. I dated all sorts of guys; it makes me soooo mad I did not document it all better, it would have made for a great book. Anyhow, I love that I can give that bit of advice NOW but was so clueless when I was dating.

And then I started thinking about other things and I live in the "What If" all the time! I think everyone does in some ways to weigh out options in any type of decision making. But it is when it prevents us from truly living and experiencing where it gets complicated and when we are afraid. It makes me mad at myself. Like I am not living enough in the now because I am constantly worried about the future, trying to prevent anything bad from happening. I am doing it in my career choices or lack there of, my relationships, all over the place. So my New Year's resolution came early. I need to stop waiting for things to happen because of "What If" and just start do things, taking chances and stop trying to control everything. Because it really is no way to live.