An A-Ok over here

Hi everyone, sorry for the MIA. Taking time today to catch up on all your blogs. Things are good over here. You know standard roller coaster of emotions will it work, will it not.

I forgot to tell you guys but I got a PT job. I am nannying for a friend of mine 2-3 days a week. It's a little boy and he is 3 and such a great kid. I plan on doing it until the early fall when he goes to pre-school. It was exactly what I needed. I was there three days last week but just yesterday this week. Gets me out of the house, make a little cash and hang out with a fun loving kid to work on my motherly instincts. I have been busy with that but after yesterday I am not going back until March 8th. And I plan on laying low. Plenty of time to concentrate on the retrieval, transfer and the lovely 2WW.

Stimming was good, up until the last few days. Have not been feeling so hot. I also wish my left ovary was doing a bit better but there is a party in the right ovary. Trigger is tonight. I am just so bloated, crampy and woke up with sore boobs. We are also suppose to go to this embryology seminar tonight but if I am not feeling good, we're not going. Plus I am still waiting to see when my trigger time is.

But my head is in a good place. Not great but good and way better than last time.

Tomorrow I plan on hitting church, acupuncture and the craft store. Need to get some things to keep me occupied the next week and a half. I am hoping to grab some good magazines too.

Hope everyone has a great Fat Tuesday. I just had a red velvet cupcake. Scrum-diddly.

Congrats to all you lovelies and your BFPs!!! And for those still waiting, I'm praying for you every night.

Bring it on.

So here is it. Again.  The large box of fun arrived yesterday afternoon.

All starting tonight. Round Two, ding, ding.

Last night I went through the drug tutorials again. It's been 5 months, so my memory lapsed a little in how to mix them. I'm lucky, only one shot a day at night and both the Menopur and Gonal I mix in one shot.

I finally got my period after stopping the pill. I was wondering what was taking it so long. Not that I was worried. We all know I couldn't be pregnant, silly me! It doesn't take just sex! Just a team of 5, 10 days of shots, two procedures and some other drugs in between. Duh.

I had my baseline U/S and blood on Thursday. Everything was great as usual and they gave me the green to begin.

My husband was cute this morning. We woke up and snuggled in bed and he is a little nervous and worried for me but of course so excited. I am so thankful I have him every day. No matter what happens I know as long as I have him, we'll deal.

 I must say my head is in a great place right now. I feel strong physically and mentally. So easy to say when you have not started stimming yet and the hormones have not taken over. But I have such a better feeling about this round than last. Smarter, more prepared and stronger. (I totally have Kelly Clarkson's Stronger lyrics going through my head). And I know this cycle is suppose to happen, cause it has been such a bitch to get here.

So wish me luck. I cannot promise I will update, I'm gonna see how I feel, but I'll be back. And I'll be following along on all your blogs. All of my Cycle Sistas out there, hoping for BFPs all around.

Bad Me

So I've been going back and forth with the insurance company to approve my damn prescriptions. After numerous calls for almost 2 weeks, I finally got the approval yesterday. So I call the pharmacy to find out that our drug bill for this cycle will be $7,900. I was not expecting this at all. Which is really my fault. I know our maximum coverage for meds lifetime is $7,500 however I did not know that we blew it all last round. I thought maybe we spent $4,000-$5,000 of the coverage and we would pay a few grand but not almost $8,000. So bad me for not double checking that. After I hear this I start having heart palps about how much money this is because we have not planned for it. But what can you do. Pay for it. I was pretty upset yesterday because I was just caught off guard. Needless to say I did cry a bit.

I pulled it together today and called the pharmacy back to pay, but when we go through the prescriptions, I realize they had not accounted for the fact I already had two full Gonal F Pens (liquid gold people, $1200 a pen) and a box of Menopur from my last cycle. Plus with my insurance not covering these meds (so ironic after stalking them for 2 weeks), the pharmacy can process them in a different way to get a few discounts.

Well God Bless Toni, the pharmacist who helped me today. She went through each medication processing it either through our insurance or this other RX plan and getting us the best price on each one. Plus she even had a $50 coupon for the Endometrin. So our total price $4,300. Quite a difference from $8,000. And it kills me because what our insurance charges for some of the drugs vs. this other RX plan was quite different, basically robbery. The things you learn.

This cycle just has to work. I had a problem even getting this cycle approved because I had a day 5 FSH test vs. a day 2-3 that my insurance requires. Well I got that approved by them. Then all the red tape with the meds. I'm just seeing it as a sign this cycle is suppose to happen now. I'm feeling very positive now going into it after a bad day yesterday. Much different than cycle 1.

And I would just like to say all of you who are doing this all on your own, with no insurance coverage, and no financial help, I truly commend you for all you are doing to fight IF and get that baby of your dreams. It's already so hard on the mind, body and spirit then just the money on top of it can really put all of this over the edge.

Another Blog's Giveaway

Just wanted to quickly post, Emily over at a blanket 2 keep, is having a chocolate giveaway so go enter! Who doesn't love free candy?

I am trying to pull it together for my own giveaway especially because I have a few new followers so I promise I'll get it together and post it soon.

Fed Up

With it all. I am tired of my fucking RE's office. I am tired of my fucking insurance company. Is there a reason it has taken 58 god damn emails to get an authorization and a prescription filled?

It all started Friday when I called the pharmacy to see if they were shipping the drugs this week. They said they were still waiting on an authorization from the insurance company. I proceed to call them and they give me the wrong number to the specialty pharmacy who is suppose to approve the order. So I call again today, get the right number and they inform me that the RE's office needs to approve the prescription with the insurance company first before they can release approval to the pharmacy. So now I am dealing with my RE. I am just so annoyed and then on top of it my husband is like, "why are you getting so mad about it?" How about because I am tired of dealing with these people.  And how about because you don't have to, so please allow me to be mad. UGGH! I want to punch something.

Thank God I have acupuncture later. My blood pressure needs to come down.

UPDATE: After a lovely nurse at the RE's office was on a 40 minute call with the insurance company, it seems one of the insurance company nurses need to approve the prescription for it to be released to me. I  spoke to a nice lady there who assured me they are expediting this and they will follow-up with me tomorrow.

Hubby and I are fine. We hashed it out over lunch and he is dealing with my madness.

Much more zen now after acupuncture. And she did give me a few extras in the wrists for anxiety.

On the down, in a good way

So I had weighed myself yesterday and noticed I have lost about 5-7 lbs. since going to my gyne appointment in December. I had a feeling I was losing because my stomach has seemed smaller and my neighbor mentioned it to me a few days ago too. And today, my spin instructor asked me if I lost weight too. I told her a little but I thought it was more inches than pounds which is true but she said I looked a lot smaller and she could tell in my face. Hooray for that. Because even though I cannot sew my lips shut, her class is in no way easy and I am glad my 3-4 times a week visits are paying off at least a little. It prob could be at least 2 lbs more if my boobs were not so damn swollen from being on the pill right now.

I know too once I start stimming I will be eating the best I can (high protein) and I plan on walking again. So feeling good, strong, hopeful, positive. Great to start to the weekend.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone and enjoy the Superbowl!

New Mantra

First I would like to say I am up to 25 followers! Holla! When I started this I just had 4 followers. So thank you all for taking the time to read my blog and comment. I will have a giveaway soon, need to find a good giveaway gift....hmmm.

So I have a new mantra. And I can thank Jay over at The 2Week Wait for providing it to me. She had written a post on Thursday (prior to her CSection on Friday) which really has been resonating with me.


"Until someone tells me this whole thing is not possible, there are always options and possibilities."


It was just so perfectly stated, it instantly put me at ease about this next cycle. Because you just never know what is going to happen. No one has said it is not going to work, so you cannot think it won't. Going to chant this on a daily basis for the next two months.

Things are much better for me this last week. I think I took a swing out of feeling down and I am back on the up. I'm coming off of a fun weekend too. Friday night, a few of my friends I grew up with and our spouses/boyfriends/fiances, met for dinner. I for sure had too much fun and paid for it a bit on Saturday. Saturday I road tripped with some girlfriends to see another girlfriend in Indy. There were 8 of us. We lunched, shopped, did make-up and hair tutorials while getting ready then had a fab dinner and a few drinks, followed by a homemade brunch on Sunday. Just happy to have had such a fun weekend with so many wonderful friends but I will admit in my old age, I am a bit exhausted today from it.

In other news,  a friend on FB posted the other day she was pregnant. We know each other from growing up but she lives in a different city now. It was interesting because her status basically stated, "After years of monthly disappointments, disruptive fertility treatments, countless blood tests and injections, a whole lot of money and a loss we are finally expecting." A few things about this. First, I thought it was pretty brave of her to put that all out there so I actually messaged her wishing her congratulations and basically telling her we also are having fertility issues. So we discussed what we both have gone through. Basically she told me she posted that to kind of open up a dialogue for anyone else who may be having issues, to ask her any questions or share stories. I like that she made herself available as a resource. I don't think I could do that so publicly myself on FB.  Wonderful always to hear another success story. Again, just keeping my hope and my mantra alive and breathing.   

In addition, another one of my friends told me she was pregnant last week. She is about 15 weeks along and this is her second baby. I was kind of bummed she did not tell me sooner. I hope it was just because we have not seen each other not because she was being sensitive to my feelings. I just don't want people to feel they cannot tell me they are pregnant because of how I may feel. I am so happy for her. And the only thing I was jealous of was the fact it was so easy to do, you know, to just have sex and get pregnant! 


The pharmacy called on Friday. I probably should call them back to get my med shipment set up. This is after stalking my RE office to send over the damn prescriptions.


Happy Monday everyone! Have a wonderful week!